Image of podcast

Chris Voss: How to Succeed at Hard Conversations

Huberman Lab

Sun Oct 01 2023



Negotiation Mindset, Playfulness:

  • The mindset in negotiations is important and can be influenced by factors such as playfulness.
  • Being in a great mood and joking around can lead to positive outcomes in negotiations.

Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music:

  • Using a calm voice can help deescalate tense situations during negotiations.
  • Shifting from anger or stress to a calmer state of mind can improve communication and decision-making.
  • Music can also have a calming effect on the negotiator and the other party involved.

"Win-Win"?, Benevolent Negotiations, Hypothesis Testing:

  • The phrase "win-win" can sometimes be a red flag in negotiations, indicating that someone may be trying to take advantage of the situation.
  • In benevolent negotiations, it is important to understand each person's perspective and make them feel heard.
  • Hypothesis testing, where the negotiator takes a guess at the other party's position and allows them to correct it, can accelerate the negotiation process.

Generosity:

  • Starting a negotiation with an act of generosity can build rapport and trust between parties.
  • Generosity leads to reciprocity and creates a collaborative atmosphere for finding mutually beneficial solutions.

Hostile Negotiations, Internal Collaboration:

  • Hostile negotiations require careful navigation and understanding of power dynamics.
  • Internal collaboration within one's own team is crucial for effective negotiation strategies.

Patterns & Specificity; Internet Scams, "Double-Dip":

  • Paying attention to patterns of behavior and specific details provided by the other party helps assess their credibility.
  • Internet scams often rely on urgency and lack of specificity to exploit individuals' emotions and vulnerability.
  • The concept of "double-dip" refers to scammers asking for more money after receiving an initial payment.

Urgency, Cons, Asking Questions:

  • Urgency in requests or demands during negotiations should be examined critically before taking action.
  • Cons or scams often exploit people's sense of urgency and lack of information.
  • Asking questions to clarify the other party's intentions and motivations is an important strategy in negotiations.

Negotiations, Fair Questions, Exhausting Adversaries:

  • Negotiations should involve fair questions that seek to understand the other party's perspective.
  • The goal is to exhaust all possibilities for a mutually beneficial outcome by exploring different options.

"Vision Drives Decision", Human Nature & Investigation:

  • Understanding how human nature influences decision-making can be valuable in negotiations.
  • Investigating the underlying motivations and values of each party helps uncover their vision and goals.

Lying & Body, "Gut Sense":

  • Lying can manifest in body language cues that indicate deception.
  • Developing a "gut sense" or intuition about someone's honesty can be honed through experience and observation.

Face-to-Face Negotiation, "738" & Affective Cues:

  • Face-to-face negotiations provide additional cues such as facial expressions and body language.
  • The concept of "738" refers to the belief that 7% of communication comes from words, 38% from tone of voice, and 55% from non-verbal cues.
  • Affective cues, such as emotional expressions, play a role in understanding the other party's state of mind during negotiations.

Online/Text Communication; "Straight Shooters":

  • Online/text communication lacks non-verbal cues but still requires attention to tone and word choice.
  • Identifying whether someone is a "straight shooter" or being honest online can be challenging due to the absence of visual and auditory cues.

Break-ups (Romantic & Professional), Firing, Resilience:

  • Break-ups in personal or professional relationships require difficult conversations that involve resilience and empathy.
  • Firing employees also necessitates clear communication while considering emotions involved.

Ego Depletion, Negotiation Outcomes:

  • Venting often occurs when individuals feel unheard or ignored.
  • Ego depletion can result from prolonged defense of one's position, leading to fatigue and reduced decision-making abilities.
  • Mitigate ego depletion by allowing individuals to vent while providing feedback on the underlying causes of their frustration or anger.
  • Focus on understanding their emotions rather than giving advice or trying to correct them.

Approaching Hard Conversations:

  • Approach hard conversations with directness, honesty, compassion, and consideration.
  • Prepare for these conversations by taking care of yourself physically and mentally, practicing small stakes interactions throughout your day.
  • Use open-ended questions like "What do you love about..." to trigger a shift in the other person's mindset.
  • Prioritize listening and understanding over correction or advice-giving.

Readiness for Unexpected Conversations:

  • Stay mentally agile by engaging with others in small interactions throughout your day.
  • Practice observation skills and make connections during these interactions to keep negotiation muscles sharp.
  • Develop habits that promote calmness under pressure, such as gratitude exercises or spiritual practices like prayer or meditation.

Fireside:

  • Interactive podcast platform
  • Subscription service founded by Fallon Fatterme and Mark Cuban
  • Allows for weekly interactive group coaching sessions
  • Users can ask questions and receive direct feedback from Chris Voss and his team
  • Provides an opportunity to implement negotiation tools in real time

Companion Operations Manual for Tactical Empathy:

  • A forthcoming book that serves as a companion to "Never Split the Difference"
  • E Explores the concept of tactical empathy in depth
  • Aimed at providing additional guidance and strategies for improving negotiation skills

Other Writing Projects:

  • Recently released a book for residential real estate agents called "The Black Swan Method"
  • Focuses on using negotiation techniques specifically tailored to the real estate industry

Emphasizes humor, camaraderie, and genuine understanding within teams:

  • Believes in the power of laughter and positive interactions to unload heaviness and maintain mental health
  • Utilizes various platforms such as online training, newsletters, Instagram, etc. to disseminate knowledge and provide resources for personal growth and development
  • Chris Voss and his team engage in group coaching sessions on a regular basis through the Fireside app
  • The goal is to provide practical guidance and support for individuals looking to improve their negotiation skills
  • The interactive nature of the platform allows for direct communication between users and Chris Voss, creating a personalized learning experience
  • The forthcoming companion operations manual for tactical empathy will delve deeper into the concepts explored in "Never Split the Difference"
  • It aims to provide readers with additional strategies and insights for effectively applying tactical empathy in negotiations
  • Chris Voss has also written a book specifically tailored to residential real estate agents, offering negotiation techniques suited to their industry
  • The overall approach emphasizes the importance of humor, camaraderie, and genuine understanding within teams, fostering positive relationships and effective communication
  • Various platforms are utilized to share knowledge and resources, including online training programs, newsletters, Instagram posts, etc.

Guest Introduction:

  • Chris Voss, former FBI agent and lead negotiator in high-risk cases
  • Teaches negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities
  • Author of the book "Never Split the Difference"
  • Discusses navigating difficult conversations in various contexts

Appreciation for Podcast:

  • Guest expresses gratitude for being interviewed on the podcast
  • Acknowledges the actionable tools provided by the host Supporting the Podcast:
  • Encourages listeners to subscribe to the YouTube channel to support the podcast at no cost
  • Urges listeners to subscribe and leave a five-star review on Spotify and Apple platforms
  • Requests audience questions, comments, and suggestions for future episodes in the comment section on YouTube

Sponsorship Mention:

  • Highlights partnership with Momentous Supplements for discussing supplements on previous episodes
  • Emphasizes Momentous Supplements' high-quality ingredients and focus on single ingredient formulations
  • Mentions international shipping availability for listeners outside of the United States
  • Directs listeners to livemomentous.com/huberman for more information on discussed supplements

Social Media Presence:

  • Informs audience about Huberman Lab's presence on various social media platforms (Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Threads)
  • Promises coverage of science-related topics and tools not covered in the podcast content

Neural Network Newsletter:

  • Mentions Neural Network newsletter as a zero-cost monthly resource
  • Includes summaries of podcast episodes and toolkits related to sleep, learning, dopamine regulation, etc.
  • Directs audience to HubermanLab.com/newsletter to subscribe using their email address (privacy assured)

Final Thanks:

  • Concludes with appreciation for audience interest in science Fireside:
  • Interactive podcast platform
  • Subscription service founded by Fallon Fatterme and Mark Cuban
  • Allows for weekly interactive group coaching sessions
  • Users can ask questions and receive direct feedback from Chris Voss and his team
  • Provides an opportunity to implement negotiation tools in real time

Companion Operations Manual for Tactical Empathy:

  • A forthcoming book that serves as a companion to "Never Split the Difference"
  • E Explores the concept of tactical empathy in depth
  • Aimed at providing additional guidance and strategies for improving negotiation skills

Other Writing Projects:

  • Recently released a book for residential real estate agents called "The Black Swan Method"
  • Focuses on using negotiation techniques specifically tailored to the real estate industry

Emphasizes humor, camaraderie, and genuine understanding within teams:

  • Believes in the power of laughter and positive interactions to unload heaviness and maintain mental health
  • Utilizes various platforms such as online training, newsletters, Instagram, etc. to disseminate knowledge and provide resources for personal growth and development
  • Chris Voss and his team engage in group coaching sessions on a regular basis through the Fireside app
  • The goal is to provide practical guidance and support for individuals looking to improve their negotiation skills
  • The interactive nature of the platform allows for direct communication between users and Chris Voss, creating a personalized learning experience
  • The forthcoming companion operations manual for tactical empathy will delve deeper into the concepts explored in "Never Split the Difference"
  • It aims to provide readers with additional strategies and insights for effectively applying tactical empathy in negotiations
  • Chris Voss has also written a book specifically tailored to residential real estate agents, offering negotiation techniques suited to their industry
  • The overall approach emphasizes the importance of humor, camaraderie, and genuine understanding within teams, fostering positive relationships and effective communication
  • Various platforms are utilized to share knowledge and resources, including online training programs, newsletters, Instagram posts, etc.

Guest Introduction:

  • Chris Voss, former FBI agent and lead negotiator in high-risk cases
  • Teaches negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities
  • Author of the book "Never Split the Difference"
  • Discusses navigating difficult conversations in various contexts

Appreciation for Podcast:

  • Guest expresses gratitude for being interviewed on the podcast
  • Acknowledges the actionable tools provided by the host

Supporting the Podcast:

  • Encourages listeners to subscribe to the YouTube channel to support the podcast at no cost
  • Urges listeners to subscribe and leave a five-star review on Spotify and Apple platforms
  • Requests audience questions, comments, and suggestions for future episodes in the comment section on YouTube

Sponsorship Mention:

  • Highlights partnership with Momentous Supplements for discussing supplements on previous episodes
  • Emphasizes Momentous Supplements' high-quality ingredients and focus on single ingredient formulations
  • Mentions international shipping availability for listeners outside of the United States
  • Directs listeners to livemomentous.com/huberman for more information on discussed supplements

Social Media Presence:

  • Informs audience about Huberman Lab's presence on various social media platforms (Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Threads)
  • Promises coverage of science-related topics and tools not covered in the podcast content

Neural Network Newsletter:

  • Mentions Neural Network newsletter as a zero-cost monthly resource
  • Includes summaries of podcast episodes and toolkits related to sleep, learning, dopamine regulation, etc.
  • Directs audience to HubermanLab.com/newsletter to subscribe using their email address (privacy assured)

Final Thanks:

  • Concludes with appreciation for audience interest in science Guest Introduction:
  • Chris Voss, former FBI agent and lead negotiator in high-risk cases
  • Teaches negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities
  • Author of the book "Never Split the Difference"
  • Discusses navigating difficult conversations in various contexts

Appreciation for Podcast:

  • Guest expresses gratitude for being interviewed on the podcast
  • Acknowledges the actionable tools provided by the host

Supporting the Podcast:

  • Encourages listeners to subscribe to the YouTube channel to support the podcast at no cost
  • Urges listeners to subscribe and leave a five-star review on Spotify and Apple platforms
  • Requests audience questions, comments, and suggestions for future episodes in the comment section on YouTube

Sponsorship Mention:

  • Highlights partnership with Momentous Supplements for discussing supplements on previous episodes
  • Emphasizes Momentous Supplements' high-quality ingredients and focus on single ingredient formulations
  • Mentions international shipping availability for listeners outside of the United States
  • Directs listeners to livemomentous.com/huberman for more information on discussed supplements

Social Media Presence:

  • Informs audience about Huberman Lab's presence on various social media platforms (Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Threads)
  • Promises coverage of science-related topics and tools not covered in the podcast content

Neural Network Newsletter:

  • Mentions Neural Network newsletter as a zero-cost monthly resource
  • Includes summaries of podcast episodes and toolkits related to sleep, learning, dopamine regulation, etc.
  • Directs audience to HubermanLab.com/newsletter to subscribe using their email address (privacy assured)

Fireside:

  • Interactive podcast platform founded by Fallon Fatterme and Mark Cuban
  • Allows for weekly interactive group coaching sessions with Chris Voss and his team
  • Users can ask questions and receive direct feedback during these sessions
  • Provides an opportunity to implement negotiation tools in real-time scenarios

Companion Operations Manual for Tactical Empathy:

  • Upcoming book serving as a companion to "Never Split the Difference"
  • Explores the concept of tactical empathy in greater depth
  • Offers additional guidance and strategies for improving negotiation skills

Other Writing Projects:

  • Recently released book titled "The Black Swan Method" tailored to residential real estate agents
  • Focuses on negotiation techniques specific to the real estate industry

Overall Approach:

  • Emphasizes humor, camaraderie, and genuine understanding within teams
  • Believes in the power of laughter and positive interactions for mental well-being
  • Utilizes various platforms (online training, newsletters, Instagram) to share knowledge and resources
  • Fireside app enables group coaching sessions with Chris Voss for personalized learning experience
  • Companion operations manual for tactical empathy provides further insights into applying negotiation strategies effectively
  • Residential real estate-focused book offers specialized negotiation techniques
  • Promotes positive relationships and effective communication through various mediums Guest Introduction:
  • Chris Voss, former FBI agent and lead negotiator in high-risk cases
  • Teaches negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities
  • Author of the book "Never Split the Difference"
  • Discusses navigating difficult conversations in various contexts

Appreciation for Podcast:

  • Guest expresses gratitude for being interviewed on the podcast
  • Acknowledges the actionable tools provided by the host

Supporting the Podcast:

  • Encourages listeners to subscribe to the YouTube channel to support the podcast at no cost
  • Urges listeners to subscribe and leave a five-star review on Spotify and Apple platforms
  • Requests audience questions, comments, and suggestions for future episodes in the comment section on YouTube

Sponsorship Mention:

  • Highlights partnership with Momentous Supplements for discussing supplements on previous episodes
  • Emphasizes Momentous Supplements' high-quality ingredients and focus on single ingredient formulations
  • Mentions international shipping availability for listeners outside of the United States
  • Directs listeners to livemomentous.com/huberman for more information on discussed supplements

Social Media Presence:

  • Informs audience about Huberman Lab's presence on various social media platforms (Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Threads)
  • Promises coverage of science-related topics and tools not covered in the podcast content

Neural Network Newsletter:

  • Mentions Neural Network newsletter as a zero-cost monthly resource
  • Includes summaries of podcast episodes and toolkits related to sleep, learning, dopamine regulation, etc.
  • Directs audience to HubermanLab.com/newsletter to subscribe using their email address (privacy assured)

Fireside:

  • Interactive podcast platform founded by Fallon Fatterme and Mark Cuban
  • Offers weekly interactive group coaching sessions with Chris Voss and his team
  • Users can ask questions during these sessions and receive direct feedback from Chris Voss himself
  • Provides an opportunity for real-time implementation of negotiation tools

Companion Operations Manual for Tactical Empathy:

  • Upcoming book that serves as a companion to "Never Split the Difference"
  • Explores the concept of tactical empathy in greater depth
  • Provides additional guidance and strategies for improving negotiation skills

Other Writing Projects:

  • Recently released a book titled "The Black Swan Method" tailored to residential real estate agents
  • Focuses on negotiation techniques specifically relevant to the real estate industry

Overall Approach:

  • Emphasizes humor, camaraderie, and genuine understanding within teams
  • Believes in the power of laughter and positive interactions for maintaining mental health
  • Utilizes various platforms such as online training programs, newsletters, Instagram posts, etc. to share knowledge and provide resources for personal growth and development
  • Fireside app allows for group coaching sessions with Chris Voss, offering personalized learning experiences
  • Companion operations manual for tactical empathy provides further insights into applying negotiation strategies effectively
  • Residential real estate-focused book offers specialized negotiation techniques
  • Promotes positive relationships and effective communication through various mediums Guest Introduction:
  • Chris Voss,