Image of podcast

Ashley Walters (Top Boy): "Me & Kano Didn't Have The Greatest Time!". The Unheard TRUTH About Top Boy, Career Rejection & Personal Grief!

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

Wed Sep 13 2023



Childhood Trauma and Anger:

  • Ashley experienced a lot of trauma in his childhood, which made him angry with the world.
  • His father was in prison for most of his childhood, leading to feelings of abandonment.
  • He looked up to local bad boys as father figures and started following in their footsteps.

Desire for Revenge and Hurting Others:

  • Ashley had an obsession with the idea of dying young and wanted to hurt people the way he was hurt.
  • He acted out his anger by hurting others both emotionally and physically.
  • This behavior led to trouble with the police.

Father's Influence and Absence:

  • Ashley's relationship with his father was strained due to his absence during his childhood.
  • He longed for a connection with his father and sought validation from him.
  • When he reconnected with his father before he passed away, it had a profound impact on him.

Self-Doubt and Needing Validation:

  • Ashley struggled with feelings of not being good enough throughout his life.
  • He constantly sought validation from others and doubted himself.
  • The absence of a father figure contributed to these feelings of inadequacy.

Impact of Father's Death:

  • After his father's death, Ashley went through a period of darkness where he made self-destructive decisions that haunted him later on.
  • He didn't properly grieve or process the loss, which still affects him today.

Therapy and Self-reflection:

  • Ashley has undergone therapy to address his traumas and seek help when needed.
  • Through therapy, he has gained insight into the subconscious forces that shape him.
  • Reflecting on his early context has helped him understand himself better.

Charm and People Skills:

  • Ashley possesses charm and the ability to connect with people easily.
  • He is able to make people feel comfortable around him
  • Has a natural ability to talk to others
  • Well liked by colleagues

Perfectionism and Motivation:

  • Ashley has a tendency towards perfectionism and constantly strives for excellence in his work.
  • Highly motivated
  • Always seeks the next challenge or opportunity

Relationship with Fans:

  • Ashley values his relationship with his fans, especially within the black community where he has been an influential figure.
  • He maintains accessibility and humility, which has endeared him to his supporters over the years.

Dealing with Rejection:

  • Ashley does not handle rejection well initially but uses it as motivation to prove others wrong.
  • Refuses to accept no as an answer
  • Finds ways to overcome obstacles or find alternative paths

Enjoying the Journey:

  • While achieving success is important, Ashley emphasizes that enjoying the journey is equally significant.
  • Challenges, rejections, and experiences along the way shape who he is today
  • Some of the best moments come from the process rather than just reaching a goal

Struggles during the Pandemic:

  • The pandemic was difficult for Ashley as it forced him to stay at home without work or outlets for his energy.
  • Revealed underlying issues in his relationship with his wife
  • Led to arguments and tensions
  • Challenging for someone who thrives on being productive

Continued Growth:

  • Ashley acknowledges that he is constantly evolving and growing as a person.
  • Recognizes importance of self-reflection and learning from past experiences.
  • Despite success, remains driven to seek new challenges and opportunities.

Depression and Mental Health (Steven Bartlett):

  • Steven Bartlett felt depressed and worried about the state of his life and career.
  • Had a moment where he was very low and depressed
  • Doesn't think he had a breakdown
  • Struggled with not having choice to work, took toll on him

Relationships and Communication (Ashley Walters):

  • Discusses attending therapy, relationship with father, anger as a teenager, finding belonging in groups like So Solid Crew, being a people pleaser, feeling not good enough
  • Shares lessons learned from dying father, struggling with perfectionism and obsession over mortality at young age, experiencing prison, constantly needing motivation, having strict upbringing
  • Talks about wanting to escape being himself through acting, turning adversity into motivation, always needing the next challenge in life
  • Opens up about depression during pandemic, importance of forgiveness in relationships, struggles with opening up emotionally and connecting with others due to lack of affection growing up
  • Reflects on fatherhood and not having greatest relationship with some children

Top Boy:

  • Discusses how Top Boy became successful despite initial doubts if Channel 4 would put it on TV due to subject matter.
  • Shares why Channel 4 didn't make a third season of Top Boy (change of guard or lack of space).
  • Impact of Top Boy on black British culture worldwide by changing perceptions and providing representation for black stories beyond stereotypes.

Closing Thoughts:

  • Ashley Walters shares bittersweet feelings about final season of Top Boy.
  • Happy for new opportunities but also worried about losing connections with cast and crew.
  • Reflects on impact of show on culture and how it has opened doors for other black stories to be told.
  • Steven Bartlett expresses excitement for last season of Top Boy and praises Ashley Walters' talent, hard work, dedication, perseverance throughout career.