PodcastsThe Diary Of A CEO with Steven BartlettAshley Walters (Top Boy): "Me & Kano Didn't Have The Greatest Time!". The Unheard TRUTH About Top Boy, Career Rejection & Personal Grief!
Ashley Walters (Top Boy): "Me & Kano Didn't Have The Greatest Time!". The Unheard TRUTH About Top Boy, Career Rejection & Personal Grief!
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven BartlettWed Sep 13 2023
Childhood Trauma and Anger:
- Ashley experienced a lot of trauma in his childhood, which made him angry with the world.
- His father was in prison for most of his childhood, leading to feelings of abandonment.
- He looked up to local bad boys as father figures and started following in their footsteps.
Desire for Revenge and Hurting Others:
- Ashley had an obsession with the idea of dying young and wanted to hurt people the way he was hurt.
- He acted out his anger by hurting others both emotionally and physically.
- This behavior led to trouble with the police.
Father's Influence and Absence:
- Ashley's relationship with his father was strained due to his absence during his childhood.
- He longed for a connection with his father and sought validation from him.
- When he reconnected with his father before he passed away, it had a profound impact on him.
Self-Doubt and Needing Validation:
- Ashley struggled with feelings of not being good enough throughout his life.
- He constantly sought validation from others and doubted himself.
- The absence of a father figure contributed to these feelings of inadequacy.
Impact of Father's Death:
- After his father's death, Ashley went through a period of darkness where he made self-destructive decisions that haunted him later on.
- He didn't properly grieve or process the loss, which still affects him today.
Therapy and Self-reflection:
- Ashley has undergone therapy to address his traumas and seek help when needed.
- Through therapy, he has gained insight into the subconscious forces that shape him.
- Reflecting on his early context has helped him understand himself better.
Charm and People Skills:
- Ashley possesses charm and the ability to connect with people easily.
- He is able to make people feel comfortable around him
- Has a natural ability to talk to others
- Well liked by colleagues
Perfectionism and Motivation:
- Ashley has a tendency towards perfectionism and constantly strives for excellence in his work.
- Highly motivated
- Always seeks the next challenge or opportunity
Relationship with Fans:
- Ashley values his relationship with his fans, especially within the black community where he has been an influential figure.
- He maintains accessibility and humility, which has endeared him to his supporters over the years.
Dealing with Rejection:
- Ashley does not handle rejection well initially but uses it as motivation to prove others wrong.
- Refuses to accept no as an answer
- Finds ways to overcome obstacles or find alternative paths
Enjoying the Journey:
- While achieving success is important, Ashley emphasizes that enjoying the journey is equally significant.
- Challenges, rejections, and experiences along the way shape who he is today
- Some of the best moments come from the process rather than just reaching a goal
Struggles during the Pandemic:
- The pandemic was difficult for Ashley as it forced him to stay at home without work or outlets for his energy.
- Revealed underlying issues in his relationship with his wife
- Led to arguments and tensions
- Challenging for someone who thrives on being productive
Continued Growth:
- Ashley acknowledges that he is constantly evolving and growing as a person.
- Recognizes importance of self-reflection and learning from past experiences.
- Despite success, remains driven to seek new challenges and opportunities.
Depression and Mental Health (Steven Bartlett):
- Steven Bartlett felt depressed and worried about the state of his life and career.
- Had a moment where he was very low and depressed
- Doesn't think he had a breakdown
- Struggled with not having choice to work, took toll on him
Relationships and Communication (Ashley Walters):
- Discusses attending therapy, relationship with father, anger as a teenager, finding belonging in groups like So Solid Crew, being a people pleaser, feeling not good enough
- Shares lessons learned from dying father, struggling with perfectionism and obsession over mortality at young age, experiencing prison, constantly needing motivation, having strict upbringing
- Talks about wanting to escape being himself through acting, turning adversity into motivation, always needing the next challenge in life
- Opens up about depression during pandemic, importance of forgiveness in relationships, struggles with opening up emotionally and connecting with others due to lack of affection growing up
- Reflects on fatherhood and not having greatest relationship with some children
Top Boy:
- Discusses how Top Boy became successful despite initial doubts if Channel 4 would put it on TV due to subject matter.
- Shares why Channel 4 didn't make a third season of Top Boy (change of guard or lack of space).
- Impact of Top Boy on black British culture worldwide by changing perceptions and providing representation for black stories beyond stereotypes.
Closing Thoughts:
- Ashley Walters shares bittersweet feelings about final season of Top Boy.
- Happy for new opportunities but also worried about losing connections with cast and crew.
- Reflects on impact of show on culture and how it has opened doors for other black stories to be told.
- Steven Bartlett expresses excitement for last season of Top Boy and praises Ashley Walters' talent, hard work, dedication, perseverance throughout career.