Friendship and Communication:
- Andy Salkind became more active in his friendships by checking in on people and increasing the frequency of his communication.
- He texts his friends regularly, even if they don't always reply, as he believes that sometimes they need prompting.
- If he hasn't heard from a friend in a while, he takes it as a sign that they may be going through something tough and sends them a quick note.
- Research shows that checking in on friends can have positive effects on happiness and improve friendships.
Benefits of Checking In:
- Peggy Liu's research explores why people feel disconnected from others despite understanding the benefits of social connection.
- She found that busyness is not the only reason we fail to reach out; we also struggle with accurately predicting what others want or need.
- People tend to underestimate how much recipients appreciate being reached out to and fail to consider the psychological power of surprise.
Overcoming Barriers to Reaching Out:
- Peggy suggests keeping messages brief and asynchronous (like text messages or emails) so recipients can respond at their convenience without feeling burdened.
- She recommends periodically scrolling through your phone's contact list and reaching out to those you haven't connected with lately.
- Finding natural reasons to send a message, such as sharing news articles or TV show references, can remove concerns about competence and make reaching out easier.
The Impact of Reaching Out:
- Andy Salkind's experience highlights the profound impact a simple text message can have on someone who is struggling.
- His friend's one-word message prevented him from taking his own life and gave him a reason to keep going.
- Peggy Liu's research shows that assumptions about bothering or annoying others are usually wrong, and reaching out can have positive effects on both parties.