
Troy Hawk and the Power of Compliments:
- Troy Hawk is a character created by comedian Milo McCabe who greets strangers with compliments.
- Troy's mission is to meet people, greet people, and tell everyone he meets kind and uplifting things.
- Research shows that giving compliments can have a positive impact on both the giver and the recipient.
- Nick Epley explains that recipients of compliments are mostly just happy that someone took an interest in them and noticed something good about them.
- Many people underestimate how their compliments will be received and overestimate the awkwardness of the experience.
- Xuan Zhao conducted a study on compliments where participants were asked to list three positive things about their friends they hadn't had a chance to compliment yet. The recipients felt happier than expected, while the complimenters underestimated their reactions.
The Importance of Giving Compliments:
- Xuan Zhao shares her personal story of hating her single eyelid appearance until her high school boyfriend complimented her eyes and changed her perspective.
- Xuan broke up with another boyfriend because he didn't give her compliments or express appreciation for her qualities.
- She decided to study the psychology of compliments after these experiences.
- She trained with psychologist Nick Epley at the University of Chicago to investigate why people don't give enough compliments despite thinking nice things about others.
Mispredictions About Compliments:
- People often mispredict how their compliments will be received due to performance anxiety and fear of looking foolish.
- Nick Epley found that recipients care more about warmth and genuine interest than word choice or delivery style.
- People also mispredict when it comes to timing. They wait for the "right time" instead of seizing opportunities to give compliments in everyday situations.
Undersociality and Compliment Giving:
- Undersociality refers to our tendency to underestimate the happiness benefits of social interaction.
- Nick Epley has studied undersociality in various contexts, including compliment giving.
- People underestimate how good they will feel when engaging in social connection and expressing kindness.
- Xuan Zhao and her assistants conducted a study where participants were asked to give compliments to their friends. The recipients felt happier than the complimenters predicted.
The Power of Compliments Over Time:
- Nick and Xuan tested whether the power of compliments degrades over time by having participants give compliments to their friends for five days.
- They found that recipients liked the compliments they received on each day of the study, even by day five.
- Recipients reported being slightly happier by the end of the week, showing that the positive effects of compliments can be sustained.
Tips for Giving Effective Compliments:
- Milo McCabe suggests tailoring compliments to specific traits or features that individuals have put thought into.
- Being sincere and genuine is crucial for a well-delivered compliment.
- Context matters, so it's important to choose appropriate compliments for different situations.