Introversion and Extroversion:

  • Jessica Pan identifies as a hardcore introvert who prefers small gatherings and intimate conversations. She discovered the terms "introvert" and "extrovert" in her 20s and recognized herself as an introvert based on the definition provided by the American Psychological Association.
  • Introverts are more withdrawn, reserved, quiet, and deliberate compared to extroverts. They concentrate well, are good listeners, like to be alone, and get exhausted by lots of people. Jessica used her introverted label as an excuse to avoid social situations that caused anxiety or discomfort.

The Benefits of Social Interaction:

  • Research consistently shows that social interaction contributes to happiness and overall well-being.
  • Both introverts and extroverts benefit from increased social interaction, but introverts engage in it less due to their expectations of feeling exhausted or anxious.
  • Studies have shown that introverts' predictions about how they will feel during social interactions are often inaccurate. They underestimate the positive effects of connecting with others.
  • Sonia Lubomirski's research found that when introverts behaved more extrovertedly for a week, they experienced significant increases in happiness. The same effect was observed in extroverts behaving more introvertedly.
  • People can volitionally change their personality traits if they make a conscious effort.

Jessica Pan's Experiment:

  • Inspired by Sonia Lubomirski's study, Jessica embarked on a year-long experiment where she acted like an extrovert.
  • She challenged herself to engage in social situations she would normally avoid, such as talking to strangers, public speaking, and performing stand-up comedy.
  • Throughout the year, Jessica noticed positive changes in her well-being. She had more friends, less anxiety, and felt happier overall.

The Power of Deep Conversation:

  • Shallow talk focuses on superficial topics like weather or favorite TV shows while deep conversation involves sharing personal experiences, struggles, hopes, dreams, and fears.
  • Nick Epley's research showed that deep conversation leads to greater enjoyment than shallow talk. People often underestimate how much they will appreciate these types of conversations.

Pushing Past Comfort Zones:

  • Jessica developed strategies to overcome introversion-related anxieties, such as breaking the cycle of avoidance by attending parties or events instead of staying home.
  • She arrived early at social gatherings to reduce feelings of intimidation caused by established groups or cliques.
  • Giving herself self-compassion and patience when trying something new since discomfort is expected initially.
  • Understanding that initial discomfort fades as one becomes more engaged in conversation or builds relationships over time.