Sun Oct 15 2023

Religion and Spirituality:

• Raised in the LDS (Mormon) religion, but felt disconnected from herself within the religion
• Experienced a loss of faith and rejection of spirituality after her father's death
• Encountered a bishop who responded compassionately when she was honest about her struggles

Relationships and Addiction:

• Attracted to extreme personalities in relationships
• Engaged in partying and substance use as a way to cope with grief, rebellion, and seeking connection
• Struggled with guilt for leading others away from sobriety while not having an addictive personality herself

Parenting Through Tragedy:

• Faced challenges in communicating with her children about Rives' illness
• Struggled with finding the balance between protecting them and being open about the severity of the situation
• Learned that it is impossible to navigate this perfectly and that each child responds differently
• Modeled vulnerability and allowed her children to comfort her during difficult moments

Embracing Sadness:

• Explored the importance of allowing oneself to feel sadness as part of the human experience
• Learned that sadness can coexist alongside other emotions like love, joy, fear, etc.
• Challenged societal expectations around always striving for happiness or perfection

Finding Meaning and Healing:

• Experienced moments of transcendental love during Rives' illness that defied explanation
• Felt connected to something greater than herself
• Described these experiences as spiritual even though she questioned their nature
• Considered the presence of her deceased father or some form of divine intervention
• Ultimately defined it as love regardless of what name or label is given

The power of love:

• A nurse wrote a letter about how the palpable love between Steph and her husband transformed her idea of love.
• Steph felt like she was a conduit for transferring love into her husband during his illness.

Taking responsibility for personal growth:

• Steph had to transition from relying on her husband to take care of everything to taking responsibility for her own growth and well-being.
• She also had to navigate being a mother while dealing with grief and suffering herself.

The importance of complementary emotions:

• Steph learned that it's okay to feel strong and weak at the same time, anger and gratitude at the same time.
• Accepting these complementary emotions made her feel more powerful.

Choosing to become stronger in tragedy:

• Steph believes that people have the choice to become their best selves in the worst times.
• Recognizing the power within oneself can lead to personal growth even in difficult circumstances.

Time malleability and memories as anchors:

• Memories are always happening and can be accessed at any moment.
• Time slows down or speeds up depending on the extremity of one's experiences.

Accessing gratitude and awareness outside of tragedy:

• Steph struggles with maintaining feelings of gratitude and awareness when life is good.
• She seeks advice on how to access those feelings without being in extreme circumstances.

Tommy Rivs' relationship with time and alternative ways of energy transference:

• Tommy experienced a unique relationship with time while he was in a coma.
• Without his ability to absorb energy from others through running, he struggled with being around people after his illness.

The quantum aspect of reality and different dimensions:

• Rives lived lifetimes in his coma, experiencing different families and lives.
• Steph is interested in the quantum aspect of reality and how it relates to time and memory.

Love existing in liminal spaces:

• Life exists between extremes, not just good or evil, right or wrong.
• The best parts of life are found in the gray areas, the liminal spaces.

Self-love and acceptance:

• The book explores self-acceptance as a core idea.
• It's about accepting all aspects of oneself, including the broken pieces that ultimately make a person stronger.

Relationship with shame:

• Steph tries not to dwell in shame because it was ingrained in her through her religious upbringing.
• She wants to teach her children the difference between guilt (actionable) and shame (a dead end).

Universal love:

• The book explores the concept of universal love as reflected by the actions of others.
• Steph believes that recognizing love within oneself allows for seeing love all around us.