
The Divine Comedy of Pete Holmes: Spirituality, Creativity, & Growing Through Adversity
The Rich Roll PodcastWed Oct 18 2023
Hydration and Electrolytes:
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Spirituality & Creativity:
- Pete Holmes discusses spirituality, creativity, consciousness, fatherhood, and mid-life disorientations with Rich Roll
- Talks about how parenthood changes perspective on life and helps one take themselves less seriously
- Mentions the importance of pain as a precursor to transformation and the illusion of self in relation to reality
- Discusses the power of mercy over forgiveness
Parenting & Self-reflection:
- Pete Holmes shares how having a daughter changed his perspective on life and made him less self-centered
- Talks about balancing disappointment with love and support during emotional moments with his daughter
- Discusses reparenting oneself by providing comfort, safety, and love during challenging situations
- Reflects on his own childhood experiences and appreciates his parents' efforts given their circumstances
Transformation Through Pain:
- Pete Holmes talks about how pain can be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation
- Discusses embracing pain as a means to change and evolve
- Shares personal experiences of going through painful relationships leading to self-discovery
- Discusses healing, repairment acceptance in moving forward from pain
Reality & Illusion:
- Pete Holmes discusses the nature of reality and the illusion of self
- Talks about how people often ignore or distort reality to avoid discomfort or maintain their beliefs
- Reflects on his own experiences with questioning reality and discovering deeper truths
- Discusses the idea that our perceptions shape our understanding of reality
Finding Joy in Pain:
- Pete Holmes shares his experience with using pain as motivation for positive change, such as fasting for weight loss
- Discusses balancing spiteful motivation with finding what feels good
- Shares insights on reprogramming one's relationship with food through fasting mimicking diets
- Reflects on the benefits of experiencing discomfort and using it as fuel for growth
Veganism & Ethical Dilemmas:
- Discussion about Pete Holmes' transition from veganism to including fish in his diet
- Talks about cognitive dissonance and ethical dilemmas surrounding dietary choices
- Reflects on challenges of being vegan while balancing family needs and personal health goals
- Discusses limitations of opting out entirely from causing suffering due to everyday consumer choices
Comedy Writing Process:
- Pete Holmes describes his creative process for writing new comedy material
- Talks about finding passion-driven ideas that evoke strong thoughts and perspectives
- Explains testing jokes on stage without writing them down, relying on text messages to himself for note-taking purposes
- Shares insights into stealing ideas from oneself by revisiting old material or unused bits
The Evolution of Stand-up Comedy Career:
- Pete Holmes reflects on different phases in a stand-up comedy career: starting out, hitting it hard, finding balance
- Discusses importance of honoring one's own creative process and finding a balance that works for personal growth
- Talks about transitioning from constant performing to focusing on specific shows/events while maintaining creativity
- Shares insights into joy of having supportive community, building relationships beyond show business
Living in Ojai:
- Pete Holmes discusses his move to Ojai and positive impact on his life
- Reflects on happiness from living in a quieter, more peaceful environment
- Talks about sense of belonging within the community, forming genuine connections with people outside show business
- Shares how this phase of life is happiest he has ever been
Ojai and Sacred Time:
- The speaker finds the drive to Ojai sacred, using it for reading, learning, and making phone calls.
- They mention that driving in from Ojai for meetings or shows is not a problem for them.
Delusions about Living in Los Angeles:
- The speaker reflects on the delusions people have about living in Los Angeles, such as thinking long drives are normal.
- They compare the drive from Ojai to various destinations with the same destinations in LA, highlighting how much shorter it is in Ojai.
Getting Creative About Blocks:
- The speaker encourages getting creative about blocks instead of focusing on the amount of time spent driving.
- They suggest considering other factors like fear of irrelevance or feeling like one needs to be part of the hustle and bustle.
Living in Ojai:
- The speaker shares that some people who live in Ojai can feel dried out and crave being in the mix of things.
- They acknowledge that living there comes with privileges, including career flexibility and stacking their schedule according to their preferences.
Career Path:
- The host praises the guest's unique career path, which includes being a stand-up comedian, writer, thought leader, and spiritual explorer.
- They discuss how spirituality has become an important aspect of their life and work, integrating it into their comedy routines and podcasts.
- The guest talks about his journey towards incorporating more vulnerability and personal experiences into his stand-up comedy through podcasting.
The Impact of Podcasting on Comedy:
- Both speakers highlight how podcasting has allowed comedians to share more personal stories and connect with audiences on a deeper level.
- They discuss how podcasting has given comedians control over their own work and audience connection in ways that were not possible before.
The Power of Metaphor and Myth:
- The speakers discuss the importance of metaphor and myth in conveying spiritual truths that go beyond literal language.
- They emphasize that literal truth is the lowest form of truth, while metaphor allows for a deeper understanding of complex concepts like God or spirituality.
- The guest shares personal experiences with psychedelics, which opened his mind to the power of metaphor and helped him explore spirituality.
Exploring Spirituality through Psychedelics:
- The guest reflects on how taking psychedelics, such as mushrooms or ketamine, has allowed him to have profound spiritual experiences.
- He acknowledges that these experiences may not be for everyone and encourages caution when approaching them.
- The guest also mentions how non-chemically induced moments of transcendence can be found through quiet contemplation or reading spiritual texts.
Finding Home in the Universe:
- Both speakers discuss the concept of finding home in the universe and realizing that everything is already okay.
- They highlight the importance of surrendering to the unknowing and appreciating life's mysteries rather than seeking definitive answers.
- The guest shares stories from different religious traditions that convey this message, including parables like the prodigal son.
Embracing Vulnerability and Facing Demons:
- The speakers talk about embracing vulnerability as an essential part of personal growth and transformation.
- They emphasize the importance of facing one's demons instead of avoiding them, whether through therapy or other means.
The Role of Symbols and Stories:
- The guest discusses the transformative power of symbols and stories in spirituality.
- They highlight how symbols can lead to a deeper understanding and connection with spiritual concepts that are difficult to express through words alone.
- The guest mentions various spiritual teachers and authors who have influenced their perspective, such as Eckhart Tolle and Rupert Spira.
The Absurdity of Life:
- Both speakers delve into the absurdity of life and the importance of embracing awe and wonder.
- They discuss how recognizing the absurdity can lead to a deeper appreciation for existence and a shift in perspective.
Timelessness and Surrendering to the Unknown:
- The guest shares experiences where time seemed irrelevant or disappeared completely during psychedelic journeys.
- They emphasize the idea that surrendering to the unknown is essential in finding peace and connecting with something greater than ourselves.
- The speaker reflects on moments of transcendence that go beyond rational understanding but provide a profound sense of being at home in the universe.
Returning Home:
- The conversation touches on the theme of returning home, whether it's through storytelling, metaphor, or personal transformation.
- They explore different narratives like the prodigal son or coming back to oneself after periods of exploration or struggle.
- The guest emphasizes that we are all on an arc toward self-realization, where everything comes together as one.
The Comforts of Story:
- The dying person was worried about dying
- Richard Roy said the point of life is to accept that you are accepted
- A Course in Miracles quote: "Who could be disappointed? Who asks for what he has already?"
- Pete Holmes mentions having these quotes on his mirror
Communicating the Notion of Remembering or Returning Home:
- People who haven't had their reckoning struggle with understanding this concept
- Baggage and resistance to spiritual language due to past experiences
- Joseph Campbell's perspective on storytelling and Eckhart Tolle's focus on the present moment
- Dropping the ego and getting familiar with one's true self
Understanding Self and Dropping Attachments:
- Ram Dass' perspective on identity and letting go of attachments
- Distance as an illusion, everything happening within our awareness or consciousness
- Science views reality as a group hallucination originating in the brain, overlooking the influence of the observer on perception
- Constantly changing beings, taking oneself less seriously
Practices for Cultivating Awareness:
- Daily mindfulness practice involving discussing these topics with others
- Forgetting and getting caught up in distractions like emails, finding comfort in teachings from Eckhart Tolle, Muji, Rupert Spira, Christ, etc.
- Breathing exercises, meditation guided by Mooji, reading books like "Being Aware of Being Aware" by Rupert Spira
Dealing with Anger and Forgiveness:
- Technique called "reign" (recognize, allow, investigate, nurture) to address anger or negative emotions
- Forgiveness hack: imagining oneself in the other person's shoes and understanding their actions based on experiences/circumstances
- Distinguishing between intellectual forgiveness and divine mercy as a deeper practice recognizing interconnectedness
Dealing with Anger and Forgiveness (continued):
- Father Greg Boyle's perspective on forgiveness being overrated and mercy being more important
- Recognizing that forgiving others is a practice of self-love and recognizing our shared humanity
- Pete Holmes' personal struggle with anger towards his parents and the ongoing work needed for forgiveness and mercy
Conclusion:
- Conversations like these serve as an opportunity to hang out, learn, and grow together
- Pete Holmes' special "I Am Not For Everyone" on Netflix offers a mix of spirituality and humor
- Acknowledgment of the podcast sponsors: Element, Faherty Brand AG1 Whoop Inside Tracker Plant Power Meal Planner